Our daily routine - a life update on being a stay (& try work from home) mom) to a two year old & a one year old

Aaron Jack has just turned ONE, and I finally feel like I am slowly getting a little more into my groove when it comes to finding a work/life/home balance. I don’t always get this right, and I often feel like I have to decide which balls to drop as I can’t possible manage them all on a day to day basis (sorry to my darling husband, who often feels like it’s him who is dropped more often than not). But man alive this whole parenting thing is hard enough as it is, never mind when there is more than one child and then the next juggle of working from home (or rather when you TRY to work from home). And then us mamas are also supposed to fit in feeding the family, doing housework, giving the hubby the attention and care he deserves AND trying to fit in the elusive ‘‘self-care'“ that we all know is so important, but is generally the last thing on the list and the first to be postponed.

Today I want to share with you my current daily routine, and how I juggle all the balls in my life. This ‘routine’ is constantly changing, and I’ve had to work REALLY hard at being okay with things changing. Especially as what ends up changing things is my kids (ie waking up early from naps, being super clingy all of a sudden, teething, dropping a nap, wanting to do everything ‘by self mom!’ and the normal emotions that come with being a mom. Like some days, you just don’t feel like parenting, and you wish you could just go back to a moment before kids, even if it’s just for 10 seconds, to drink a hot cup of coffee and not be clung to by sticky fingers…I adore my little ones, but feeling like this is SOOOO normal. And, as long as we don’t wish we were back in those days all day every day, I think it’s healthy to have those feelings. Anyway, I’m going off on a tangent now, so let’s get back to the point of this post.

photo by Storm Storah Photography

Here is my current daily routine for me and my family.

For anyone new around these parts, I am married to a dairy farmer and we live on his family dairy farm in a teeny tiny town called Creighton. The closest shops are an hour and a half away. I have two little ones (Everly Rose is 2.5 & Aaron Jack is 1), and we have a wonderful domestic worker who works Monday - Friday. I mention her, because she is essential to my mental and physical well being (because she is as dedicated to maintaining a clean & tidy house as I am) and is also here to lend a hand or two with both kids if I have to meet clients/have Skype meetings. Everly has just started going to play-school (she goes to school for two mornings a week…school is a good 40km ONE WAY and although I’m able to share one of the 4 lifts, I take her and fetch her and this takes up most of those mornings. It’s just not always feasible to take her, drive home, and then go and fetch her again and so I often take her to school and then run errands in the small town where her school is based. I actually often organise tea dates with friends in this time,as this is a wonderful way to get a little ‘me time’ in and make the most of the long drive. I had also only planned to send her to ‘school’ much later on, and to rather focus on more of a home based learning environment, but with another baby and trying to actually build my business, it works so well with her going to school. And she just loves it there.The wheels have yet to fall off in the 5 weeks she’s been going. We do cloth nappies (click here for all of my posts on cloth nappies), have 2 dogs (well, technically 3 as we just got a new puppy), have 2 cats and 6 chickens (this is where we get our eggs from…we eat A LOT of eggs, with both my kids eating two eggs for breakfast every day). We follow a REAL food diet (I used to say we followed a Banting/Low carb High Fat diet but we aren’t that strict anymore, and rather focus on eating real food, nothing processed, no added sugar and because of this I make 99% of my kids food…ie I spend a lot of time in the kitchen…click here for more posts on what my kids eat). I sleep trained both my kids from an early age (and because of this they sleep for a solid 12ish hours a night, and both still take naps…Everly is on the extreme side of the scale when it comes to sleep though, and has always needed lots more sleep than the average, but Aaron, who was much harder work getting into a good routine from 0 - 5 months, has been so much easier since that happened. I breastfed both my kids (and am still breastfeeding Aaron…they both wouldn’t take a bottle, and this is not something I forced because I didn’t need them to, as I was always able to be here at home…the boobs were always available haha and this meant no formula was needed). Gosh this is becoming a bit of an odyssey but bare with me! When I started weaning my kids (Everly at 5.5 months and Aaron at 6 months) they both went straight onto real food (no cereals!). They both only drink water & cows milk (although Everly is now very into Kombucha…a type of fermented tea…full blog post coming on this soon showing you how to make your own!) and we sort of follow a very loose Montessori approach to learning and play. Bedtime in our house is 6pm for the kids, which I know seems unattainable for lots of parents (and obviously won’t work if you are at work during the day and only get home at that time) but this has been key to my own mental wellbeing because I often collapse at 6:05pm and there are evenings where you will find me in bed by 6:30pm. I have been blogging for over 10 years now, and am a self taught photographer & website designer. I started my own online business in 2016, but it’s only really taken off in the last year…with this past month being my busiest month ever. I’m from Joburg, and have been married for nearly 8 years. I studied English Literature & Psychology at Rhodes University (this is where I met my hubby) and we both moved to South Korea to teach English for 4 years before settling back here in SA. I am also a qualified teacher & have a diploma in Online Journalism from the London School of Journalism. I also work for the farm, doing basic admin work as well as the payroll for the staff. We have been living out here on the family farm for nearly 3 years.

Whew! You made it…well done. Go grab yourself a cup of something & catch your breath before continuing with this post.

I say all of the above to help set the scene and knowing the above helps you understand more about my family and the choices we make, and why & how I structure my day. Things don’t always go the way I plan, and some days I just DON’T feel like standing in the kitchen at 10 o’clock at night making yoghurt..but for the most part I know that you have to be prepared if you want to feed your kids good food, and if you want to have a second to breath during the day you have to be strict about routine and be firm with little ones who like to test the limits of your patience. I think it is also VITAL to your marriage to have time together in the evenings, before your both exhausted from the day, to catch up & connect. Although this is something hubby and I need to work on, as I generally just feel like crawling into bed to switch my brain off while mindlessly watching series.

I hope you enjoy this post & that it offers you some inspiration to help make your day run a little smoother.

Photo by Storm Storah Photography

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Here is my week-day schedule:

• 04:30 Hubby goes to work, I snooze till 5am and then go make myself a cup of tea

• 5am-6/6:30am I do client work, check emails, post to Instagram/reply to social media comments

• 06:30ish - 7:30 Both kids wake up, change nappies, get them dressed and play time

• 07:30: Zanele arrives for work (she comes in at 7:15 on the days that Everly goes to school as I have to leave the house at 7:30…she then takes over Aaron and has him until I get back from school at about 12:30.

• 07:30 - 09:00 I make breakfast for the kids, I try and make a big portion of scrambled eggs & bacon so that hubby and I can eat that too…otherwise I generally eat a handful of nuts and lots of cups of tea.

• 09:00 - 10:00 Aaron naps, Everly potters around outside/drawing/playing puzzles (here are some nice activities that encourage independent play). I am generally able to do a little but of non-focused computer work during this time. I often have to wake Aaron up from this nap, and I do this to ensure he still has a good nap over lunch time, which is more important to me as this is when both the kids are down.

• 10:00 - 11:30 Play time with the kids

• 11:30 - 12:00 Lunch time for both Kids

• 12:00 - 14:30 Everly naps (if she’s been at school she will nap at 12:30/12:45 - 14:30. Although often I have to wake her up from the nap.

  12:45 - 14:00/14:30 Aaron naps. This is my sacred time during the day, because both kids are down and I get to rest/watch series/work on client sites.

• 14:30ish both kids wake up, and it’s play time.

• 15:30 is often a time when my kids will have a snack, or if they are super cranky we go for a walk down to the Willow tree with the dogs. We generally spend the afternoon outside in nature (nature for me is anywhere with grass…so even the front lawn is considered nature. I’ll often set up the water table with water and bubbles, or bring out our little blow up pool for the kids to splash around in. If it’s cold, we’ll stay inside and play with blocks or puzzles.

• 17:00 Supper time

• 17:30 Bath time

• 17:45 Aaron has a feed, and straight down to bed.

• 18:00 Everly changes into pj’s and then has quiet time (we have just started this to help prolong her evening…as she still takes a really long nap over lunch time and isn’t ready to drop it yet…haha although I’m sure it’s me who isn’t ready for her to drop it!) it’s not really fair for us to expect her to go to be bed at 6pm. But then it’s story time, prayers, and lights out. I watch her on the monitor and she generally sings, and talks to herself, only passing out around 7/7:30. I’m okay with this, because she’s happy to lie there quietly. It would be a different story if she was really upset and fighting us for that hour, but right now this works because she is quiet and content to lie there until she falls asleep, and this means hubby and I can begin out evening.

• 18:30 Take dogs for a little stroll (this doesn’t happen every day) or this is generally the time that I start making yoghurt/making chicken stock/preparing food in batches for the kids ( I make big batches and freeze portions for every day). I try to also get supper ready for hubby and I for at least 5 out of 7 days of the week. Generally this is meat (chops/boerewors/mince/roast chicken/leftover stew from the kids) and veggies and sometimes a salad if I have the ingredients and feel up to it.

• 19:30 - 21:00 Series

• 21:00 Bedtime (if not earlier)

The only difference over the weekends is Zanele isn’t with us (she goes home on a Friday afternoon) and so on a Saturday 7 Sunday I also feed all the pets (I have some form of help in a very eager & enthusiastic Everly) and collect all the eggs from the chickens. Zanele and I also ‘share’ the washing of the nappies, as I wash every 2 - 3 days, and this often falls over a weekend. I’ve only had her step in to help with the nappies in the past couple of months, as I was so determined to ‘do it all’ but I’ve realised there are certain things that you just have to relinquish control over, and accept the help that’s offered (this is actually one of the biggest motherhood lessons I’ve learned over the past 2 years). On the weekends when hubby is on duty, he is still generally around a bit during the day (depending on how busy the farm is) and so we are often able to at least have breakfast together in the mornings.

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So, as far as a routine goes, the above has only really fallen into place since Aaron dropped down to two naps. Before this, everything was higgledy piggledy and I was often left feeling frazzled because there was never any downtown for me. I wasn’t able to get anything done (work-wise) during the day, I was too exhausted to wake up early (and actually both my kids took turns waking up at about 5 am on and off for a couple of months). This was killer for me, and considering I wasn’t able to get them on the same nap schedule I felt like I was being stretched far beyond my means. Luckily, one realises after the fact, that as with all things, there are seasons to everything, and the tough times don’t last forever…unfortunately this is also true of the easy times too. But up until Aaron was about 5 months old (click here for a post on the very early days of #TwoUnderTwo and click here for one 6 months in), I really didn’t think we would ever get to a point when I enjoyed both my kids every day. Now that he is crawling and pulling himself up on things, he is a different child, and far happier to play by himself (within reason haha and not for very long!) but at least it happens ever now and again.

Some Tips for figuring out your routine

Accept (or be like me and at least ‘try’ to accept) that things change, and that the world won’t end when it does. When one (or both!) of my kids wake up early, my heart sinks. Especially if I’ve just say down to a hot cup of tea. I have to take big deep breaths, to help me ‘release’ the frustration I feel, and I remind myself that they are my babies and they need their mama. This helps a lot. In the early days, I had to often pick which little one to leave to cry during moments of the day, because I only have 2 hands and physically can’t feed a baby, change a nappy & prevent the entire bottle of powder from being shaken all over the carpet. Also accept that there aren’t any more ‘lie ins’ in the morning, unless you wake up at 2am and then have a ‘lie in’ from then till 5am ;) I’ve found the mornings that I don’t get up earlier than my kids, and if they are the ones to wake me up from my sleep…then I am a far grumpier and irritable person than the days I wake up intentionally earlier. Even if it’s just 20 mins earlier to have a cup of tea and let my brain log on for the day.

Decide on your priorities as a Mum and also a person. I decided very early on what my priorities were when it came to my kids. For me, I want them to eat the best food (this means I have to prepare it), I like a clean & tidy house (this means I am always picking up after them even though I have an amazing full time helper…the house is big and two kids make double the work…and for me, I can’t relax or function if things are chaotic. So this is a choice I make, to run around like a madwomen because at least when and if I get that cup of tea, I can enjoy it in a tidy space). I also have to be able to do something for myself, and this is my business. This means I need my kids to be on a schedule that gives me pockets of time to focus on this (ie my kids need to be in bed by 6ish pm and they need to be staying there until at least 6am…#hellosleeptraining which has allowed this to be a reality). My choice to breastfeed as long as I have has also meant I wasn’t really able to be away from Aaron for a good long time. But it wasn’t for that long, and it feels like I’ve blinked and here we are.

It’s either a good morning or a good afternoon. This was a wonderful saying that my friend Sophie told me in the very few weeks. She said she would focus on either having a good morning or a good afternoon, because it very rarely was every a good ‘day’. But, this means if the morning has been a dog show, the afternoon can only get better!

Be intentional with your free moments. Use them to focus on the things that leave you feeling rested/recharged. If this is scrolling through Instagram, that’s fine! If this is taking a quick shower, do it! Find something that’s just for you at least once a day, and be selfish with that time. For me, its the hour or so over lunch when both kids are sleeping. I try not to organise anything over that time, I don’t see friends, I don’t go anywhere, because I need that time to mentally prepare for the rest of the day.

Love on your kids. Kiss them, hug them, hold them, even if you feel like you are about to explode with frustration. I’ve found nothing makes me feel happier than my kids giggling because of something I have done. So in those moments where I feel like I just can’t parent (and there are lots, #justbeingreal) I take a walk outside around the house (because 30 more seconds of crying/winging won’t make a difference), take some deep breaths, and then I grab one (or both!) of my kids for a tight hug, put on some crazy music and we dance. This solves most things. And if that doesn’t work, snacks generally do the trick (always have some biltong on hand for these moments!).

It’s okay to live your life according to a nap schedule. This doesn’t work for lots of moms, and obviously if you have to work during the week (I am going to be honest and say there are plenty of days I wish I had a day job that took me out the house) you probably don’t want to be tied down by naps on the weekend and are more likely to be okay with naps on the go. I’m not this kind of free spirit, and you know what, for this season of my life I am okay with this. I know it’s just a season, and even though I’d love to be less fixated on naps and just go out for the whole day with my kids, as they are both so small, we ALL function better and are happier when they’ve had a good nap.

Photo: Storm Storah Photography

There you have it, a mammoth post on my routine. What’s your routine like? I’d love to hear how you make things work for you and your family, especially if you work from home.

x

Two Under 2 - A life update 6 months in

Whew! We’ve made it to 6 months as a family of four, and I think we all deserve a high five (or rather, Mommy & Daddy deserve a night of uninterrupted sleep, or maybe just a 10 minute lie-in, or wait, maybe just a hot cup of tea, I’d settle for that!). The past 6 months have been crazy, filled with nappies…and more nappies and then a few more nappies on top of that. And even though it feels like the days dragged ooooonnnnn and ooooonnnn this time has really flown past. Everyone said that it would be hard, and to be honest, I didn’t really believe them

Or rather, I didn’t really understand what hard would look like.

My first born, Everly, was (and still is) a unicorn baby…you know the ones that sleep like the book says they should (and then some!) who eat anything and everything, who play independently for hours at a time…the ones you don’t believe really exist. And so I really thought I had it all down pat when it came to having another baby. I just assumed that Everly turned out the was she did because of how we had parented. And while I think part of this is true, a whole lot of it has to do with her being a girl, being our first baby, and of course the things we have no control over, her nature and personality.

Life since Aaron has been hard. It’s been hard for lots of reasons, not just because he has been a colicky baby, but also because of things like the small age gap between him and his sister (17 months) which means effectively I have two babies to care for. Also, with your second baby, you have far less time to sit and coo over them, and I was able to rest more when I had Everly (I spent the first 6 weeks REALLY taking it easy after her birth) and with Aaron, I was basically up and about and picking up a busy toddler after barely a week. It’s also been REALLY hard trying to co-ordinate two little schedules. I am very routine orientated, and somewhere over the past couple of months, Everly has needed to drop from two to one naps (I know, I should be thanking my lucky stars that she has made it this long on two naps) but that transition was quite tricky. Anyway, we made it and she has now settled nicely into her new one nap a day schedule, and thankfully still sleeps through the night (even through Aaron’s bad nights…long may that last!).

I really don’t believe that my little boy is a very difficult baby, he has just been really different to Everly. A big component has been that I actually have forgotten what Everly was like in the early months. But, in saying this, Aaron is a whole lot busier than Everly was, he has already got 2 teeth (and two more are breaking through and he HAS not been a happy chappy for days on end before and after those pearly whites broke through…unlike Evs who only got her first tooth at nearly 8 months and ever since then barely makes a peep when they do) and from what I can tell from my friend’s with boy babies, he is a typical boy. He just wants to be close to his mommy, and he likes intense one on one interaction about 90% of the time. It’s not always easy for me to mentally sit down on the floor and play with him, when I feel torn between work on my computer and then the things that I love doing (photography, blogging and sharing our behind the scenes farm life on Instagram…but gosh writing that out here really does sound terrible…I’m basically saying playing with and talking to my baby is taking me away from doing the things I love doing…and that pretty much sums up parenthood haha). But I do think all of these thoughts are normal (please tell me I’m not alone!) and while the first 4 months for us were the hardest, the last 6 weeks have had way more happy & sunnier days.

Aaron is giggling and laughing, and developing his own sense of humor (typical boy style, the fist full on laugh was over ‘fart’ noises) and he LOVES being thrown up into the air. He is getting really good at sitting, and his slow-to-smile nature means that every smile you do get hits you with ALL THE FEELS.

Here is our new #TwoUnderTwo schedule, for anyone who might like to know how we (try!) to do things most days:

• 06:30 - 7am both kiddos wake up (generally at the same time, which is chaos, but some days Evs wakes up before Aaron and then I get to spend a bit of quality time with just her while I get her changed for the day). I feed Aaron & change his nappy, and then pop some music on for him while I change Evs nappy and get her dressed.

• 8am Everly has breakfast while Aaron sits in his bouncy chair (he gives me about 10 - 15 mins before he starts getting bored).

• 08:30 - 10am Aaron has his nap. Everly and I go an play in the garden, read books, potter around the house.

• 10:00 Aaron wakes up, I feed him, change his nappy and then geenrally pop him in the pram and take him and Everly for a walk.

• 10:45 Everly has a filling snack (usually homemade yoghurt with nut butter/blueberries)

• 11:00 - 13:00/14:00 Everly has her nap (which can be anywhere from 2 - 3 hours long).

• 11:00 Aaron has his solids (we just started about a week ago)

• 11:30 Aaron goes down for his nap, which can be anywhere from 1 - 2 hours long.

  From 11:30 - 13:00 is generally when I get to have my only break from both kiddos. I don’t usually get longer than 45 mins, but there have been a few days when I’ve had 2 hours to myself. It’s wonderful! But it did take 6 months to get here, as usually Aaron would wake up as I was putting Everly down, or vice versa.

• 13:00/14:00 Everly has lunch when she wakes up from her nap, and then the three of us play together until Aaron’s next nap.

• 15:00/16:00 Aaron will have some sort of nap at this time, some days he has a short 30 minute nap, other day an hour. Other days, my wonderful Nanny will put him on her back while she does the ironing and I’ll take Everly out into the garden to play.

• 17:00 Everly has supper

• 17:30 I start running the bath, getting the kids pj’s and nappies laid out (this may sound strange, but as we use cloth nappies, the night time nappy is always a bigger one that has lots of layers, and so I go and fold them/get them ready.

• 18:00 Bath time. I bath Everly while hubby get’s Aaron undressed and baths him. Then I take Aaron to his room to change and feed him, and then pop him down for the night. Everly gets changed and has story time and what she calls ‘talk time….soooo cute’ with Daddy, and I usually get to pop my head in to say goodnight.

• 3:00-4:00am Aaron wakes up for a feed, and then goes right back to sleep till the morning.

It’s taken us a while to get to this point, and I’m so proud of my family! We had about a month recently of Aaron waking up multiple times a night, me feeding him often, us leaving him to cry and eventually settle himself to sleep (again, this has only been doable because Everly sleeps through the noise) and just general rough nights, but with lots of perseverance and consistency, we are back to a good nighttime routine again. I have no doubt this is going to change again, and I’m okay with that, because I know we will get back to our ‘normal’ again.

In other news, I’ve been quite busy again lately with branding shoots & website design, which always pulls me in two directions. I also am in charge of our farm’s BEE certification, and we have our audit coming up in the next 2 weeks which has been crazy stressful, and really, really, really hard to juggle with two little ones. It’s the kind of work that needs uninterrupted focus time (haha yes I hear the moms in the back laughing along with me at the though of uninterrupted focus time when you have kids) but I’m getting there, and once this audit is done, hopefully it will be a while until I need to work on it again.

So all in all, we are getting into our groove and the latest fun milestone has been giving Aaron solids and starting his weaning journey. I’ll be doing more blog posts on that soon, but if you’ve got a little one and will be starting solids with them soon, here are all my blog posts on what we did with Everly:

Some goals we have now for our little family are to go on a hike, and when the weather warms up, to go camping. Are we crazy or is it doable? Do you have any tips for doing any of the above with two little ones? I’d love to hear from you!

Life with a Baby - Week 15 of Baby #2

While scrolling through the hashtag I made for my little girl (please tell me I’m not the only one who scrolls through their own hashtags!), I came across the photo I shared of Everly at 3 months, and the corresponding blogpost I wrote on her at 15 weeks. As Aaron is 15 weeks old now, I thoroughly enjoyed reading through it and comparing my two babies. I’m so glad I have kept up with blogging, as it has become a wonderful walk down memory lane on so many occasions.

Here’s a comparison of Everly & Aaron at 3 months old:

My pregnancy with Aaron was a very happy and relatively easy one. I stayed as active as I could (going to Pilates for as long as I was able to) and Everly pretty much kept me active all day every day. We also moved house when I was 7 months pregnant (fun & games that was!) and Everly only officially started walking the day I gave birth to Aaron…so having to carry her around all day also helped keep me fit and strong. Although my birth didn’t go according to plan, again (I was hoping for a VBAC but my cervix just wouldn’t play ball…again) this time around the whole experience was a lot more peaceful because I had been through it all before. I was very grateful to go into labor naturally, at 38 weeks on the dot (just like when I had Everly) and I was up and about in the hospital the very next day, which really helped with my recovery time.

Here are all the posts I wrote on my second pregnancy, including a post on what to pack for hospital for both mommy & baby:

Not that I can really remember, but from what I wrote in my post on Everly at 15 weeks, she started really resisting her day time naps at this stage. This is nothing new for Aaron, as he has been cat napping like a champ for a good 2 months now, and surprisingly is actually now starting to settle into more of a predictable routine.

So…the total opposite of Everly.

I also thought Everly was an amazing sleeper at night, but it seems that Aaron is even better than her, and has been sleeping 11 - 13 hours a night since about 7 weeks old (I’m going to say that he is making up for his lack of daytime sleep…or perhaps he gets more than his fair share at night and needs less during the day?? Who ever really knows!).

While I haven’t read/re-read any baby books this time around, here is what I shared in Everly’s post that could give some reason for the unsettledness that happens at about this time:

• The dreaded 4 Month sleep regression (in reality I feel like babies make up their own timelines when it comes to sleep regressions/growth spurts)

• A growth spurt

• Teething (I laugh looking back at this as Everly only got her first tooth at 7 months…so the fact that thought she was teething at this age really gives me a good giggle)

• A Wonder Weeks developmental leap

• Travel or disturbance of environment/routine

• Transitioning out of a bassinet and into a cot (we made the move with Aaron today!)

• Vaccinations (here in South Africa there are shots at 14 weeks)

• And the most probable one...babies just being babies, growing and changing with no real explanation as to why they do what they do!

Up Until Now

Aaron’s first few weeks were relatively smooth sailing, and he pretty much ate and slept all night. He slept about 2 -3 hours during the day, and stretched to about 5 hours at night. From about week 5 - 9, he had terrible gas & tummy trouble (I want to say he was colicky…but I now know that Colic is the word used to describe unsettled babies who generally are just not very happy/have sore tummies/are more on the niggly side of things). I tried every drop/liquid under the sun, but didn’t really notice much of a difference, and he eventually grew out of that at about 10 weeks.

We have also gone through a very hazy 6 weeks or so of crazy cat naps during the day, ranging anywhere from 20 - 50 minutes in length. I tried 3 days of intense sleep training, which I didn’t find to work very well, and then both kids got colds and I put all that on hold. Throughout all of this, Aaron continued to sleep REALLY well at night…sleeping from 6/6:30 - 7/8am with one feed at about 5am. But the days were shocking, and I rememeber pretty much crying at some point every day. I feel like things escalate from 0 - 1000 in a split second, and hubby would leave the room and I would be all cheerful and smiley, and come home 10 minutes later to find me in a complete heap, two screaming babies and lots of tears all around. But thankfully, each day seems to be getting easier, and I hope this continues.

In terms of routine & schedule, we follow the same bed time routine that we started (and still do) with Everly:

• 6pm bath time (depending on the afternoon nap I’ll either feed him one side right before bath time or when he wakes up from his last nap which can be anywhere between 4 & 6pm). Then once out the bath it’s a quick massage, a nice big clean nappy (we use cloth nappies on both kiddos...click here to read more about our cloth nappy journey so far) and pyjamas.

• +- 6:15pm feed the other side, burp & then straight into the cot by 6:30pm

Here's how I put Aaron to sleep at night:

After his bath & last feed & burp, I pop him straight down in his cot while he is awake but drowsy, put his dummy in and walk out the room. Aaron sleeps on his tummy (unlike his sister who HATES being on her tummy…not matter how much I tried). If he’s fussing a bit, I may go in a few times to pop the dummy back in and give a few reassuring pats on the bum. This is the only time of the day that I feed before sleep.

And during the day:

I try to follow a 'wake-eat-change-play-sleep' routine during the day so that he doesn't associate sleeping with feeding, as feeding before sleeping makes life really hard as baby ends up refusing to go to sleep without a feed. This has become much more of a challenge with short naps. For the first few weeks of his sleepy newborn state, he would sleep about 3 hours at a time during the day, which meant every time he woke up it would be time for a feed. I roughly follow a 3 hourly breastfeeding schedule. I do the same sleep routine during the day as at night, Except this time he gets put down after play time. I generally try to follow the following wake time schedule, which is based on age appropriate periods of awake time:

• morning wakeup

• 1 hour of awake time

• nap

• 1hr 15mins of awake time

• nap

• 1.5 hrs of awake time

• nap

• 1.5hrs of awake time

• bedtime

Up until now, it’s been really hard to follow a ‘eat, play, sleep’ routine, as the short day time naps inevitably mean I’m feeding him just before his next nap, otherwise I would be feeding him every hour. I am not against demand feeding, but I find we are all happier when we are following more of a set routine, and 3 hourly feeds works well for this. When (or IF) Aaron’s naps consolidate (apparently this generally happens naturally around month 5) then this will be much easier to follow. So in the meantime, I pop him in the carrier is he wakes up early and it isn’t time for a feed, this way he is happy to either be close to me, or nods off for a bit more.

And Now

Sometimes it still feels like all Aaron does during the day is cry…I know this isn’t the case, but gosh it sure does feel like it some times. He is a typical boy (at least, from what I have been told and seen with my friends boy’s) he just wants to be held and is happiest when being worn in the carrier. This is completely the opposite to Everly, who could lie on her play mat for ages and ages, and was very content to just be. She also woke up happy after every nap, whereas Aaron wakes up rather grouchy and is happiest only once he has been fed.

Even though I feel frazzled most of the day (I’m sure this has less to do with Aaron and more to do with the fact that I have two kids to take care of and I work from home) each and every smile from him warms my heart and makes it all worthwhile.

I’m also SO thankful his nights are so good #longmayitlast.

NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF...

Current favourite nickname: Arrow

Loves: being in the carrier & watching his big sister

Hates: day time sleep (haha) being taken out the carrier

Teething: Not crazy amounts of drool, and not too much sucking on his hands yet

Eye Colour: Grey? Dark Blue? Hazel?

Hair Color: Dark Brown 

Weight: Weighing in at 6.2 kg's, the same weight as his sister at this age. I have gone through a week or so of worrying that I am no feeding him enough as I only feed him on one side per feed. He was 3.6kgs at birth, and Everly had doubled her weight by this time, so I’ll keep an eye on this. I’m trying to drink more water and make sure I eat a lot more oats (any other suggestions to increase your milk supply?)

Feeding: Breastfed

Sleeping Aids: His hands & a dummy

Current clothing size: 3-6 months

Currently eating/not eating: I’m eating & drinking everything I did before being pregnant, as well as when I was pregnant. I’m drinking regular coffee (although I try not to drink caffeine after 3pm) and I’m also still drinking my homemade kombucha. Although a lot of people talk about diet affecting their breastmilk, I really don’t believe it makes too much difference, and find I am a happier mom when I eat what I like.

And that’s where we are now friends. Here’s hoping Aaron continues to settle more during the day, and that he keeps up the wonderful nights (I’m hoping he sails through the 4 month sleep regression!) but if not, I’m going to just try to remember that these are all such short seasons, and before we know it, he will be up and running after his big sister in the blink of an eye.

Chat soon!

x

Transitioning from a Cot to a Toddler Bed

Everly is now 20 months old, and has been sleeping in a ‘bed’ for the last 3 months. She has surprised us all with how well she has transitioned (although this is something I kept reading would happen…that our kids are capable of far more change/independence than we expect) and so I’d like to share how we went about making the change.

Although some people told me Evs was too young to be in a bed, in reality, we didn’t have much choice. Aaron was on the way, and I wanted Everly to have some time to adjust to her new bed (and the freedom that came along with it!) before a new baby entered the house and life as we knew it would change. We also didn’t want to have to buy another cot, preferring to rather put Aaron in the cot and Evs in a bed. While I had planned to put her straight into a regular single sized bed (she has one in her room that was left over from when our new home was a guesthouse…click here to see photos of our home as it barely 6 months ago!) but the bed is an extra high one, and she is still rather little. I wasn’t worried so much about her falling off the bed (in my mind this could be solved with pillows on the floor/a pool noodle put under her sheet etc) it was more the getting back up on the bed that I knew she wouldn’t be able to do unless we had a ladder/box for her to climb on. And seeing as her cot converted into a toddler bed, this seemed like the perfect first step for her. Now that Aaron is getting too big for his bassinet, we will move Evs into the regular bed in her room (maybe by taking the legs off the base/removing the base altogether and just putting the matress on the floor) in the next few weeks and he will go straight into the cot. I’ll also be sharing photos of what her room looked like when she was in her toddler bed soon, and I’ll also share a post of what Aaron’s room looks like while he is in his bassinet. Once Everly is in her new bed, Aaron will then go into the cot and I can finally share photos of the gorgeous custom bedding I had made for his room. Look out for those blog posts coming soon.

The cot we have is the Stihl from CoziCot (which retails for R4708) but I bought it on special in 2016 for about R3500. The cot comes with toddler panels, and these were pretty easy to put on once the rails were taken down.

I love the simplicity of the cot, and the fact that it has two levels, meaning no more sore backs from lifting baby in and out. The only concern I have had since having it, is once you’ve lowered the cot so the mattress is on the lowest level, the sides have grooves where the cot base fits to raise it to the higher level, and for the more adventurous baby/toddler, these would provide the perfect ‘step’ to break free from their cot. Everly didn’t ever attempt this, which is why I only recently thought about it. We did put cot bumpers on the cot from about 7 months which hides the ‘steps’, but also to bear in mind, Everly was rather slow to reach her physical milestones. She only started crawling at 13 months, and only walked at 17 months. So she wouldn’t have really been able to break out even if she had wanted to. Just something to keep in mind if you’re looking at this cot.

So, how did we go about actually transitioning Everly?

We didn’t mess around, and basically took down the panels, and she had her first morning nap in it right away. Her first nap she barely moved in her bed, the second nap (she still naps twice a day) was shocking as she got off the bed and straight away bee-lined for the door and opened it. Our house is an old farmhouse, and the door handles are really low, and the latch on the door is very precarious, you can just about blow on it and it will open. And so, once she realised she could open then door, it was all bets off and so, after using all sorts of contraptions to keep the door closed (mainly ties tied around the door handle and a chair) we went out and bought a small hinge lock that secures her door shut. Her first night sleep wasn’t too bad, she got off her bed a couple of times and came to the door winging a bit, but I was most surprised that after 10 minutes she put herself back to bed. We had about 2 days of really horrible day naps, where she cried and cried outside her door, but I would go back in after about 10 - 15 mins and put her back on her bed. Often she would actually put herself back on her bed and cry for a bit longer before passing out. Her night time sleep was not affected at all, and it only took a few days for her day naps to go back to usual, especially once she realised she couldn’t open the door any more.

She did fall off the bed a couple of times in the following weeks, but after a few tears, she always got up again and put herself straight back to bed (I watched her on our video monitor…something I HIGHLY recommend to parents once your little ones are older so you can keep an eye on what they actually get up to when it’s nap/bed time). I think it really helped develop her own confidence to let her sort herself out when she fell off the bed, as I think us going in there every time would have disrupted her sleep. Toddlers are really incredible, and will continue to surprise you all the time at just how much independence they can actually handle (and how much they actually love being able to problem solve!) when given the chance.

All in all it was a rather quick and easy transition. Something that I do think helped a lot, was to make a big fuss of the fact that she was now going to be in a big girl bed. We also included her in the actual dismantling of the cot (look at her cute cross face when we had to take away the sharp screwdriver so she didn’t stab herself in the eye!).

Making her a part of the physical side of her new bed, and then being firm with her when she got out of bed in the beginning helped too. Giving your little one freedom in their room is a huge step not just for them, but for us as parents too. It’s not for everyone, but I really love the Montessori approach of giving your child the freedom to be independent.

We did go through a few patches of Everly waking up much earlier than usual from her night sleep, but as she could now get off her bed, instead of crying for me to pick her up, she simply got off her bed and would go get books to read on her bed. Although I’m not sure what on earth she was actually looking at as we keep her room pretty dark with block out curtains. We have also gone through a few patches of her resisting her afternoon naps lately. I have spent a few afternoons listening to her play the xylophone for over an hour, but it’s my thinking that as long as she’s quiet and not crying, she can do what she likes in her room during nap time.

Sometimes I do still go in and firmly put her back lying on her bed with her blanket and dummy, and often she does then go back to sleep (we got a video monitor from the time we transitioned her into a bed so we could see what she was getting up to), but sometimes she just lies there quietly singing to her toys/reading her books. I know this might mean she is ready to drop that second nap, but rather than drop the nap time, I am moving towards a ‘rest time’ where she has to be in her room, with the curtains drawn, and I don’t mind if she isn’t actually sleeping at this time. This allows me a bit of breathing room during the day, especially as I have another little one to care for.

Some things to keep in mind if you are going to allow your little one freedom in their room:

• Safety wise, you need to make sure the room is completely childproof. We do have a few electronics around her room, but I have moved the plugs and hidden them from view. She has never shown any interest in those plugs, and when she has gone close to them we have been sure to firmly explain that they aren’t for touching.

• You also need to keen in mind the heights of furniture, and make sure any furniture you have in their room is sturdy and won’t fall over if they climb up onto it.

• I was also quite ruthless with her toys, as she now has access to all of them. Her chest of drawers is very solid and the drawers are very sticky so she can’t actually open them herself, and then all the other toiletries (wipes, creams, medicines) are put up high out of her reach.

• Think about what you want to do with the bedroom door. Our old farmhouse is a little trickier with fitting a baby gate onto door frames, and this is why we decided to put a lock on her door from the outside. Everly no longer tries to open the door, so we don’t actually need to use it anymore during the day, but at night we definitely lock her door because I don’t want her roaming around the house while we aren’t there to make sure she’s safe. What friends have done is to put a baby gate on the door frame, meaning you can actually keep their bedroom door open if you want to. What you do to keep your little one ‘contained’ is up to you. Let me know in the comments below if you have any other creative suggestions.

How old was/is your little one when you moved them into a regular bed/plan to move them into a bed? How did the transition go? Let me know if you have any questions about the whole process, and I’d also love to hear how it goes for your toddler makes the big move.

Two Under 2 - an update on life 10 weeks in

Goodness me the past 10 weeks (technically 12 weeks by the time I have been able to publish this blogpost) have flown by in a hazzy blur. I’m writing this post so I can (hopefully) look back on these days and remember them if there is a third little one in the future. I”m also hoping this post enourages/inspires other moms and dads out there, and helps them in their own parenting journey.

I’m not really sure where to start, or whether what I’m going to share is even going to make sense and not seem like the jumbled thoughts of a half crazed person, but life with two under two is no joke. I don’t think anything can quite prepare you for a second child, just the same as nothing can really prepare you for having your first baby (although friends with 3 kids have said the jump from 2 to 3 is nowhere near as hectic as the jump from 1 2 kids).

As this is a rather long post, I say grab yourself a hot cup of tea or coffee (something I haven’t had in 12 weeks!) and get comfy…

The hardest part of it all so far for me? My expectations of just about everything, from how much I expect Aaron to sleep, to how much I expect to be able to get done in the day.

Everly was a very easy and content little baba. She has always been a really great sleeper, and everyone told me that I just got lucky with her and that I wouldn’t be so lucky the second time around. Because of this (and my rather defiant nature!) I have been determined to prove them wrong…enter my unfair expectations and hence the frustration I have felt towards my little boy more often than I would like to admit. While he is definitely very different to Everly, I think rather than say he isn’t as good a sleeper as she was, I think the actual difference is that I am forgetting all the hard moments with Evs, and comparing Aaron to a very chilled 20 month old toddler who is firmly in her routine when it comes to naps. Also, when you have your first baby, you are able to give them 100% of your time and attention, especially if you are a stay at home mom, or if you work from home (although the fact that I work from home puts another spanner in the works as it’s one more thing to add to the expectation list). I wish I had been more thorough with Everly’s baby book and documented more than I did (although I’m so glad I did actually have a book and that I wrote the few things/memories down that I did…I wish I had noted more often what her routine was like, how much she slept and how often she fed etc) so that I have something to work from when going through the weeks & months with the next baby.

I’m pretty sure that Everly was napping (or rather NOT napping) for that long during the day at this age. I know she went through a patch of cat napping at around the 3/4month mark, but she did settle back into 2 long sleeps if 2-3 hours and one shorter one in the afternoon by the end of 4 months (I think!). I’m hoping I can get Aaron to link his day time naps soon, because those 45minutes that he does sleep fly by in the blink of an eye when you’ve got another one to look after.

And the next hardest part, trying to figure out a routine for two babies.

I still see Everly as a baby, even though she is technically a toddler. She’s still in nappies (although I’m pretty sure she will be out of them soon as she’s super aware and let’s me know whenever she is making a poo) but she also isn’t that confident of a walker yet (considering she has only actually been walking for 3 months). Thank goodness she is a very independent little thing and has always been very happy to read her books, toddle around and amuse herself. She has taken to the new addition very well, and has not been extra clingy or demanding of my attention. I was worried she would act up when she saw me feeding Aaron, and I had prepared for this with whole basket of new toys for her…but she surprised us all and has just gone about her life as though nothing has changed. I’ve been able to bring out these new toys for her and I to play with when we get a few moments alone together. And while she happily coos over him and talks about her ‘Arrow’, she has handled the disruption to her life (and most importantly) his, what seems like pretty much constant crying, far better than both Farmboy and myself.

Aaron had a very sore tummy from about weeks 5 - 8, and was very unsettled. He just wanted to be held, and he would scrunch up his legs, farting like a trooper, and just generally be very niggly most of the day. I tried just about every colic mixture or tonic I could find, and even though I found Bonnisan to help the most, I genuinely think the only think that cures that unsettledness is time. You WILL eventually get there, and their little tummies will eventually adjust to life outside the womb, but gosh when you’re in the trenches it really feels like it’s never going to end. My best advice is to find another mommy with a little one a similar age to yours so you can vent & encourage one another when the going gets tough.

What is hard when you are at home all day with your little ones, you really only have 2 hands, both of which are generally needed to take care of one baby. This means you often have to make a choice as to who should be left to cry/winge…and in our house it’s mostly been Aaron who is left to fend for himself as his needs are more simpler to meet. I know that if he has been fed, burped and changed, there really isn’t much more I can do for him if he is crying and I need to feed/help Everly with something. We have left him to cry for longer, and more often than I care to admit, especially over the last couple of weeks as he has really been fighting me at nap time, and I’m lucky if he stretches more than 30 minutes at a time. This really throws me as I am a BIG lover of routine, and right now he has little to no routine. He is also at that awkward stage where he isn’t strong enough to sit or hold his head up, but doesn’t want to just lie in my arms and snuggle. I remember Everly being at the same stage, where she wasn’t really old enough to engage much, but also wasn’t young enough to just be left to stare at a mirror for 15 minutes. We do have a full time nanny who is wonderful, and while her responsibilities mostly revolve around housework, she is amazing with Everly, and Aaron has spent many a happy hour on her back (this is where he sleeps the longest…much to my dismay…I do so vividly remember saying I would never have him carried around by someone and that he would just have to adjust to sleeping properly in his cot…how I have now changed my tune). BUT, even though we are having to work SO hard on his day time naps, he sleeps so well at night that I don’t know if I am allowed to complain about the day. He has been feeding once at night for the past 2 weeks or so, and this feed is usually between 3 & 4am. He then goes right back to sleep till the morning. We generally have to go in once or twice to give him his dummy, but I’ve found if I leave him for 5 minutes, he generally puts himself right back to sleep. So all in all, a baby that sleeps 6 - 3/4am and then until around 6 am must be a happy one? So then what’s up with the day time my boy?!

While I love and use my Ubuntu Baba carrier pretty much every day, what I can’t really do with it is sit down, and I don’t really like standing at a table when I am working on my computer. This is why I am so determined to get Aaron into a good routine for his naps, and have him nap as much as possible in his cot, rather than on me/in a carrier. It’s far less a case of not wanting to create bad sleeping habits, and more a case of me wanting to be able to actually have a bit of time without a baby strapped to me so I can sit down to my computer work (haha perhaps this is more of a dream right now than a reality) or be able to pick Everly up/play with her/wash my cloth nappies etc. But, for those times when he is just SO unhappy and refuses to nap in his bed, my Ubuntu Baba carrier is an absolute life saver, and has enabled me to multi task like nobody’s business…I have successfully breastfeed Aaron, made supper and been able to feed Everly her dinner, all at the same time. I may have collapsed in a head shortly afterwards, but we all survived and I only have the Ubuntu Baba to thank. On that note, make sure you’re following me on Instagram as I will be running an awesome giveaway in collaboration with Ubuntu Babe next month.

This is our routine at the moment…it’s mostly Everly’s routine as Aaron is pretty much unpredictable right now. I also haven’t figured out whether I want to have them both awake/sleeping at the same time so I get a proper break, or whether I actually enjoy being able to spend one-on-one time with each of them while the other one is napping. I also know first hand that just as soon as you think you’ve got things figured out, they go and change things up by learning a new skill, cutting teeth, reacting to vaccinations etc but it makes me feel better to have some sort of loose plan that I’d like them to be on.

Right now, this is what our routine looks like:

• 6-7am Wake up (They have both been waking up closer to 7am the past week but it can be anytime from 6 on the dot to 7…I leave Everly in her room to chat/read her books till as close to 7 as possible, but Aaron I go in right away as his cry has a way of eating into your very soul). Generally I’ve been able to feed and change Aaron by the time Evs is awake, so then I will go into her room, give her her milk while I change her nappy, and then she comes with me to Aaron’s room where they both have some play time.

• 8am Aaron’s nap time & Everly has breakfast. Aaron seems to only be able to be awake for about 45mins at this time, and it works well because I can pop him down and then make Everly’s breakfast. He then sleeps anywhere from 45 mins - 2 hours. Although it’s been far more often the 45 minute sort of nap, unless he is tied to Amahle’s back. I give Everly her breakfast and then we go outside for a walk to see the cows, go and feed the chickens or do some gardening together.

• 9am/9:30 Everly’s Nap time. Aaron is generally awake around this time and so I then feed and change him, and then we play together until he starts yawning (ideally around 10ish) and then I pop him down for a nap.

• 11h30ish Everly wakes up from her nap. I change her nappy and then she potters around the house until lunch time.

• 12 o’clock lunch time for Everly. Aaron may or may not be napping at this time, but if he is awake I’ll either put him in his baby chair and he watches us have lunch, or I’ll have him in the carrier so I can sort Everly out. Once she’s had her lunch she then has play time.

• 2pm - 3pm Everly has another nap/rest time. She isn’t quite ready to drop this nap yet, but doesn’t always actually sleep. I don’t actually mind what she does during this time, but it’s a quiet rime in the house as this seems to be pretty much the only time of the day when their sleeping has coincided. I change her nappy and pop her down on her bed with the curtains drawn, and she either has a small nap, or quietly reads her books/plays with her toys. She still does the odd 2 - 3:30/4pm nap, it all depends on how long her morning nap has been. She has also been generally quite cheerful on the days when she’s missed the nap/quiet time altogether, so perhaps it’s actually me who isn’t ready for her to drop that nap haha. Either way, when she does drop this nap I still plan on making this quiet time where she will be closed in her room to rest. She seems to enjoy this time, and very rarely fights me on it these days. She has gone through patches of being in there for up to two hours, in the dark, singing and playing her xylophone…funny thing. But like I said, as long as she isn’t crying and actually upset, I don’t mind what she does in there during that time.

• 3-5pm is general chaos. Usually Aaron is having a nap at some point, and Everly is happy to entertain herself to a point. But usually by 4pm I’ve got both kids outside for a walk/play in the garden, with Aaron in the carrier, and I’m silently counting down the minutes until bed time.

• 5pm supper time for Everly. Aaron is either being held by Dad if Dad is home at this time, or he is still in the carrier, having a little snooze while I buzz about the kitchen getting supper on the go and giving Everly her dinner. I also get both kids pyjamas and nappies ready, as well as their towels and Everly’s milk all laid out for after their bath. I also try to feed Aaron before bath time, no matter how soon before his last feed this ends up being. I want him to have a nice full tummy for the night ahead. Now that it’s winter, this is also usually when Farmboy will light a fire, something that is always a huge delight for Everly.

• 6pm bath time for both kids. We have gotten into a nice routine with both babes…I run the bath and then wash Evs and brush her teeth, and spend some quality time with her before hubby undresses Aaron and brings him into the bath where both kids have some fun splash time. I then take Aaron to his room for a nice massage, dress him and then he has a nice long feed. Then it’s a quick burp while I turn off the lights and hum our bedtime song, then a kiss and a cuddle before swaddling him, popping in his dummy and putting him down on our Nurture One Pillow. Hubby brings Everly into Aaron’s room to say goodnight to both of us, and then takes her to her room to get dressed and then she drinks her cup of milk and it’s story time and then straight to bed. Both little ones are down by 6:30pm and we collapse in a heap!

  While Everly sleeps right through, I generally am up feeding Aaron some time between 3 & 4am and then whew…the whole day starts again.

It took a while to get the above routine down, and as much as possible we try to keep it the same even when we go away. Obviously there are times when Everly has nap later than she’d like/miss a nap altogether especially when we are out and about, but I find the routine is as much for the kids as it is for us parents. Aaron pretty much goes along with the flow right now, and as much as I would like to get his routine waxed, only time will tell whether this is even remotely possible with two kids. On that note, please share your routines with me if you have more than 1 babe and how you make it all work! I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.

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Something I have been asked a lot is how I ‘manage to do so much’ with having two kids. As luck/Murphy’s Law would have it, I have only recently (literally from the last few weeks before Aaron was born) started booking clients for the web design service I offer. I wouldn’t advise offering a new service to clients when you’ve just had a new baby because you will be torn between needing to care for your little one and having to meet deadlines for clients. Having lots of work has really wonderful, in terms of the extra income. I can now justify all the extra cloth nappy purchases I’ve been making (#jokingbutnotreallyjoking).

BUT, because I feel like a lot of you follow me on Instagram and may think I’m some sort of superwomen being able to juggle two kids and work at the same time, I want to say that my Instagram (along with just about every other person I know) is a highlight reel. I share the beautiful and the happy moments on it, and choose not to showcase the hard times (I use my Instagram stories for this because, yes, there are LOADS of hard times and LOADS of moments where I feel like I’m not going to get through the day and LOADS of tears and frustration). But, those moments pass, even when you feel like they won’t, and everything has a season. I’d say right now we are in the middle of a pretty tough season, but I know that we’ll get through it, and that I’ll probably forget just how hard it was. Choosing to share the good and the beautiful is a choice I make, and have always made with this blog and all of my social media accounts. And I hope this is why you follow along, and that the things I share make you smile.

So how do I manage to ‘get so much done’ you may ask? I try to stay very organised. This means I meal prep Everly’s food (so that all that is required for most of her meals is to take something out the freezer the day before). Because we choose to feed her real food (click here to read more about Everly’s way of eating) having her meals prepped before hand takes a lot of stress out of my day. I also make sure to try and make a batch of yoghurt every 2 weeks or so, so even if I run out of snacks, I know I can always rely on keeping her tummy nice and full with homemade yoghurt which she loves. I also believe that you have to prioritise your day, and that a happy mommy is a good mommy. I like being busy, and I enjoy the feeling of being super productive, and so I generally have a million and one things on the go. I love blogging, designing websites & photographing my kids and our lives, and so I make sure to carve out time (even if it’s 10 minutes here and there) to do those things that make me happy. I’ve also finally accepted there is no such thing as a lie in anymore (or any semblance of an afternoon nap), and I try to get up before the kids so I can at least drink a hot cup of coffee and get dressed before the chaos of the day starts. I don’t always get it right, and quite often Farmboy will pop in during the day and find me looking like a complete wreck, with one kid winging at my feet and the other screaming in my arms, but all make it to the end of the day in one peace, fed and relatively happy.

Some pearls of wisdom from my dear friend Sophie: “Aim for a good morning or a good afternoon, it’s very hard to achieve both and this way if it’s been a bad start to the day, you know things can only get better! It’s also much easier to focus on a few hours at a time, a whole day can seem daunting”

Also…celebrate the small wins with chocolate and the hard times with strong coffee! I don’t believe that food plays much of a role in affecting baby through your breastmilk, and I would much rather have the ‘fuel’ of a strong cup of coffee to keep me going through the hard moments, than be left feeling hard done by and then try to function to the best of my abilities…but that’s just my two cents.

Farmboy is still a farmboy, working hard all day. I often feel like we are ships passing in the night as he is up at 4:30 to go to work when I’m just crawling back into bed after feeding Aaron. Our marriage is strong though, and although we do fight and get frustrated with one another when our expectations aren’t being met (man oh man I believe expectations are the underlying cause of pretty much all fights between couples), we love each other and I would not be able to be the mother I am without him by my side. We do need to work on carving out more moments in the day/week for us to catch up and connect on a deeper level, so if you have any tips on this and how you navigate keeping your marriage strong when there are lots of little ones taking up all your time and energy, I’d love to hear from you too!

So there you have it, a little update on the past 3 months of being a family of 4. I feel like we are slowly emerging from the haze of the past 12 weeks, and I’m looking forward to the chaos (ahem, I mean, fun) that lie ahead in the months to come.

x

Our Toddler's Evening routine - what we've done (and still do!) from +-3 months

Seeing as we now have a toddler and a newborn, I wanted to share the bedtime routine we have done with Everly since she was about 3 months old. I want to write it here so I am also able to reference it in a few months time when Aaron wakes up from is sleepy newborn slumber and starts being more wakeful. Hopefully you find this post useful/interesting, and as always, I’d love to hear from you in the comments if there is anything else you do that you find works for you and your family.

Before having Everly, I was adamant that a baby would just slot into our lives and we wouldn’t be ‘those people’ who plan their day around their little one’s naps. But alas, I have since realised, a happy baby = a happy mommy & daddy and wherever possible, we try to keep to our routine as much for their sake as for our sanity. Everly has always slept well, and slept a lot. It even got to the point where I was googling ‘can a toddler sleep too much’ because the majority of my friends seemed to have babies and toddlers that just ‘hate sleep’. And while I am going to be a bit controversial here (because I’m sure there are little ones out there that REALLY struggle to sleep) I am going to say that the majority of babies/toddlers want & need sleep, they may just need more help to actually get to (and stay!) asleep. Even at 17 months old, Everly still naps twice a day (mostly) and these two naps range from 1.5 - 2.5 hours each. She also sleeps at night on average, for 12 - 13 hours. This post isn’t meant to be an ode to how wonderful my child is (from what I can tell with my friend’s kids, Everly may be more of the exception to the rule than the norm) but I do wish at least one person had shared with me that it is possible to have a good sleeper, and that you shouldn’t feel bad about the fact that your child genuinely needs/wants lots of sleep. I think there are lots of factors that play a role in ‘creating’ a good sleeper (things like diet, routine, patience and a WHOLE lot of strong will when it comes to ‘sleep training’…I’ll share our thoughts on this in another post) but as always, each child is different and each family is different too, you need to find what works for you.

We have done the same evening & bedtime routine since Everly was about 3 months old. Before that, she just fed & slept anywhere and everywhere. From Day 2 home from the hospital, we put her in her own room, mostly because she was so noisy when she slept, that neither me or hubby could get any sleep. I LOVE the idea of co-sleeping, I just know that it wouldn’t work for our family. I am a very deep sleeper, but Farmboy isn’t, and as he is up at 4h30 every morning to go and milk the cows, co-sleeping is just not something either of us feel would work for us. Having baby/toddler in their own room, away from you so you don’t hear every single sniff and gurgle, helps a whole lot in ensuring a better sleep for mom & dad…but again, if this isn’t for you and you prefer to have baby in your room, that’s a choice completely up to you to make. This post is not a post to bash moms and dads who co-sleep etc but more about sharing what we do and what works for us.

Everly’s evening & bedtime routine

• Supper is at 5pm.

Everly has been brought up on a low carb, no sugar way of eating right from day 1 of starting solids. If you’re South African, I guess you would say she was & is a Banting Baby (although we aren’t strict with carb counting) and if you’re not sure what Banting is, it’s basically a low carb high fat way of eating. What this means is Everly doesn’t eat any form of processed carbs (no toast/crackers/cereal/pasta etc) and no form of processed sugar (no juice/sweets/chips/cake/commercial kids snack bars etc). You would be surprised at just how much hidden sugar is in most baby food products…and while I can control what she eats, this is how we have chosen to raise her. You may be wondering what on earth I feed my child, so here are all my posts on #whateverlyeats:

I strongly believe diet plays a huge role in sleep/development/overall contentedness (and the same applies to us adults!) and it would be my first suggestion to look at your little ones diet if they are struggling with sleep.

• Bath & bed time starts at 6pm sharp

If she’s been cranky/hasn’t had proper naps during the day we often start earlier so she’s in bed by 6pm, but very rarely is she in bed past 6h30pm.

Farmboy has always done bath time, as it’s his special time to with her. After her bath, she has her milk (I breastfed her up until 13 months - around the 3 month mark of my second pregnancy, at which time it just became too sore for me, and she got too big to be lying on me and my growing tummy) and that’s when we started her on cows milk. She gets a 150ml non spill cup of milk (it’s raw farm milk…which she has grown up on and is the same milk I used to make her homemade yoghurt which she ate from about 7/9 months old).

We started her milk in a TommeeTippee Explora Cup, and she’s still using it today. Even though this cup is probably more suited to babies than toddlers, Everly wasn’t ever weaned from breast to bottle, we went straight onto asippy/drinking cup from the breast, and so this was her water bottle, and now this is what she gets her milk in. I don’t worry about how much milk she drinks, and didn’t ever measure out exact quantities, even after I stopped breastfeeding. Reason being, she eats a LOT of dairy (mainly cheese and homemade yoghurt) and so I knew she wasn’t ever going to be calcium deficient, even if some days she would only drink a few sips of her milk at bedtime. Whatever she doesn’t drink at night, gets put back in the fridge and she gets that in the morning when she wakes up.

While Farmboy is bathing her, I get her milk ready, close the curtains and put her nightlight on (we use a beautiful pink Quartz lamp that she’s had in her room since she was born) as it gives off the warmest, softest glow. I bought her pink quartz lamp (and the white quartz lamp in Aaron’s room from StaticEnergy in Jhb).

I then lay out her pyjamas and night nappy (we use cloth nappies and the night nappy is always a rather big and bulky situation as it needs to last +-12 hours). Then I say goodnight to her, we say some prayers (when I can remember…I really want to reinforce this with her but haven’t been so great at it up till now) and I leave the room. Farmboy dries her off, puts cream/massage oil on her (we still use and LOVE Pure Beginnings Massage Oil), and then dresses her for bed. She has a dummy (which she has nicknamed ‘Nunni’ and a special sleep time soft toy, ‘Dudu’), which she only gets to have when it’s nap or bedtime.

We’ve always had a bedtime song that we have and still sing at bed time. It’s more of a lullaby that we hum, but it’s such a nice way to reinforce that it’s bedtime. When Everly would wake up often at night, one of us would always use that lullaby to calm her down and help her get back to sleep.

Once she’s dressed, it’s story time. Sometimes she will still have her milk at this point, but we take it away once we leave the room. Story time is mostly a full blown discussion of ‘what’s da’ or ‘what’s that’ as she points to each and every picture in the book. It’s the sweetest thing listening to the Daddy & Daughter chatter before bed. Once story time is done, it’s a quick kiss good night and and ‘I love you’ and then whoever is doing bedtime walks out. 9 times out of 10 she settles quickly. But since getting a video monitor a few months ago, I’ve actually seen that she isn’t always sleeping when I think she is! I don’t mind though, as long as she’s happy and quiet in her bed, I don’t really mind what she’s getting up to. I’ve watched her for over an hour just lying there, legs in the air, playing wit her DuDu and stroking her face with it…funny thing.

We also recently took the sides down of her cot (CoziCot Stijl) and turned it into the toddler bed it’s able to convert into, as we slowly transition her to the single bed in her room. It’s been about 3 weeks of her in her ‘big girl’ bed and it’s been a relatively painless process (blog post to come on that move soon). I was REALLY nervous about the whole thing, especially as she is now able to get in AND out of her bed whenever she wants to, and has free access to everything in her room, but I have been pleasantly surprised at how it’s all gone. I was most worried that her night time sleep would be disrupted by the move, but apart from one night of her falling out the bed, and her waking up slightly earlier than normal (6am instead of 7am), it’s like nothing has changed. I think it’s been such a smooth transition because of the same routine we follow every night. Even when we go away, we follow the same ‘bath, milk, pj’s, story, bed’ routine and 9 times out of 10 she goes down without a fuss. We also, as much as possible, stick to the 6pm bath & bed time routine no matter where she goes to sleep.

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I weaned Everly off her last night time/early morning (it was at about 3am) feed at about 7 months. We had a couple of rough nights, but she adjusted quickly. We then went on an overseas trip to the UK, and she went back to demanding that early morning feed, which I went back to giving her during the trip as we were staying in relatively small homes with family and I didn’t want to keep everyone up. But once we got home I weaned her off that feed again and within a few days she went back to sleeping +-12 hours at night.

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If you’d like me to share our sleep training ‘methods’ I’d be happy to write about them in a separate post. Hubby and I are very strict when it comes to bed and nap times, and do leave Everly to cry if it’s time to sleep and she’s up and about. This has worked extremely well for us, and I’d be happy to share what we’ve done, right from the beginning…let me know in the comments below!

I hope you’ve found this post interesting. I’d love to hear about your families routine, and what you’ve found works for you. Leave me a comment below, I always enjoy hearing from my readers.

x

34 Weeks pregnant with Baby#2 & an update on my hopes for a VBAC

Well, this pregnancy sure has flown by, and yet in some ways it feels like I have been pregnant for forever. And what they say about your second pregnancy being a bit of a blur, is completely true! I’m doing my best to capture this pregnancy, and to keep up Baby Boy’s journal ( bough both Everly’s and BabyBoys journals from Typo!), but there are only so many hours in a day and when most of them are spent running after a busy toddler, it doesn’t leave much time to daydream about what life is going to be like when he arrives. In some ways I’m almost glad, as the moments I do have to sit and wonder about what life will be like, I’m left pretty much terrified (in a good kind of way haha). I have zero idea of what life is going to be like with two under two, and as Everly isn’t walking yet (she’s 16 months old now and although she’s cruising along everywhere, pulling herself up on everything, pushing her trolley around everywhere & has taken quite a few steps on her own…she is still not officially walking). While I’m not worried about this from a developmental point of view (I mean, she only started crawling just after her first birthday) it’s more of a worry for me as she is so darn heavy and I’ve already got nearly 20kg’s of baby weight on my front…and so picking up another 12 - 15kg’s in the form of a squirming toddler is not my idea of fun. I’m not up for that kind of cross fit session every time we have to go anywhere ;)

She’ll get there eventually, I just hope it’s before her brother is due to arrive in +-6 weeks time!

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Today I wanted to share a bit more about my hopes & dreams for a VBAC.

A VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Caesarian…aka a natural birth after a caesar) has been my dream ever since Everly was born via emergency c-section in September 2017. I do plan on sharing her birth story (if anyone is interested in that) but to sum it up I went into labor naturally, and after 36 hours of unmedicated labor, my cervix started hardening (I was already 7cm dilated) but she just wasn’t progressing any further. I have a lot of ‘what ifs’ and ‘If onlys’ but after that amount of time, as well as my doctor and the nurses worrying about her being in distress (not to mention how exhausted I was) and so I was rushed off to theatre and my little girl was born a mere 30 minutes later. It wasn’t what I had planned, but she was born healthy & safe, and even though it was not the sort of birth I had hoped for, I don’t feel any remorse about it. I just feel a lot of determination that it will go differently this time.

In saying that, I have come a long way in the past 7 & a half months with regards to my mindset and I’ve realised that what is most important for me, is just to go into labor naturally. I want my baby to choose his own birthday, to be ready to join the world, and for my body to be ready too. I’ve realised that in some ways a Caesar is ‘nicer’ if I can put it that way (no tearing/cutting, a longer stay in the hotel ahem I mean hospital) but the recovery time is much longer than a natural birth, and trying to recover from a second c-section, feed and care for a newborn AND look after a busy toddler is not going to be easy.

VBAC’s in South Africa

Just a little note…these are my own thoughts & perceptions from months and months of research & spending time chatting to care providers and other moms, I am in no way bashing the health system here, but rather sharing my own personal views.

South Africa, in general, is not very VBAC friendly. Most gynaes are not very keen on the idea (I say most, because up until recently I didn’t even know that it was an option to try for a natural birth after having a ceasar as it’s not something the majority of gynaes support). I am generalising, as there are some incredible VBAC pro gynaes out there, but they are few and far between, and there are lots of reasons for this.

First of all, most gynaes will tell you that the biggest risk of a VBAC is your uterus rupturing. While there is a chance of this happening, the actual statistics are soooooo tiny (it’s less than 1%), and there is only a slightly lower risk of this happening even with a regular, first time vaginal birth. Anyway, this post is not supposed to be a rant on gynaes and their choices to avoid ‘risk’, but rather to share my feeling and decisions in wanting to pursue a VBAC.

There are also lots of factors that affect a positive outcome for a VBAC, and a lot has to do with the reasons why you may have had to have a Caesarian in the first place, as well as the type of scar you have (these days its most common for a Low Transverse Incisions to be done…this is from the top left and across). If you had an elective caesar the first time around, there is no reason why you shouldn’t be able to birth naturally. If, like me, you had an emergency caesar, it can change things a bit as your doctor would worry about whatever happened to prevent a natural delivery the first time, happening again.

If you are wanting to explore the option of a VBAC further, I would HIGHLY recommend joining the VBAC in South Africa facebook group. There are loads of wonderful ladies in that group sharing their experiences, their VBAC successes and failures, as well as LOADS of information of VBAC’s here in SA.

Did you know that Government hospitals will push for a VBAC due to the immense cost & labour (ie staff required) of caesarians, preferring for the mom to rather attempt a natural delivery than have a repeat caesarian. This really should highlight just how normal the idea of a natural delivery after a c-section is.

Here in South Africa, most gyna’es have a very strict tick box list for a VBAC in hospital (these may vary slightly, and some gynaes may differ/be open to changes but these are the general guidelines:

• Baby must weigh 3.5kg’s or less at birth

• You must go into spontaneous labor (ie your body has to go into labor naturally) by 38/39/40 weeks

• Labor has to progress by 1cm an hour

• There should be at lest a 2 year gap between your last birth and your current due date

From what I have read and from the many, many ladies I have spoken to about this, the highest chance of a successful VBAC is to have a home birth with a midwife & a doula. While I love the idea of a home birth, I’m not sure it would be something I would actually pursue, and the fact that I live 1.5 hours from the nearest hospital basically rules out that option, especially for a VBAC, when most midwives wouldn’t attempt a home birth for a VBAC as if things do go wrong, you need to be able to get to a hospital as fast as possible.

Your second best chance for a successful VBAC is a hospital birth, but with a midwife as your primary caregiver, and a Gynae as backup. This is a tricky one, and unless you really strike it lucky with a Gynae who agrees to be ‘on stand by should things go wrong’ it’s not easy to make happen. It’s different if you live in Joburg or Cape Town, as then you have the option of a clinic like Genesis, which is midwife led, and whose whole focus is on a natural delivery. I visited Genesis in Joburg for my second trimester abnormally scan, and it was just the most incredible place. I even considered moving in with my family in Joburg for the last few months of my pregnancy, just so I could give birth there…but then came to my senses when I had to ask myself if would really be happy being away from my husband for those months, and also would he be happy to be away from me and his little girl during that time.

Third option, and the one I have had to settle for due to my own personal circumstances (basically, the fact that I live out in the middle of nowhere!) is to have a hospital birth with a VBAC pro gynae. There are not a lot of options for VBAC pro gynaes in Pietermaritzburg, and in my months of research, have realised there is a big difference between a VBAC pro gynae and a VBAC friendly gynae. A VBAC friendly gynae is open to the idea, but they are far more risk adverse than a VBAC pro gynae, and the chances of a successful VBAC are much lower. Anyway, beggars can’t be choosers, and I have found a VBAC friendly gynae (she was the gynae who actually delivered Everly as my doctor just so happened to be overseas when I went into labor) and so as she actually did my surgery, I decided to go with her for my second pregnancy. She was very blunt with me in the beginning, not saying no to a VBAC, but not being very hopeful either. She just told me we would have to see how my pregnancy progressed, and gave her strict list of labor protocol. I left every check up with her ( up until about 28 weeks) feeling despondent, and not at all hopeful for my VBAC. I even considered changing gynaes several times…I just wanted someone to give me the chance and to be encouraging and positive about a VBAC. I wasn’t looking for anyone to make any promises to me (after all…I have first hand experience of how things can change during labor) but she was very honest and pragmatic about the whole thing, and I really respect her for this now. She didn’t want to give me an false hope, and I’ve realised it’s not her job to feed into my birthing fantasy, when she knows there is no actual way to know what will happen during your pregnancy, never mind during the actual birth.

I think the guidelines above make it pretty much impossible (if followed 100%) to have a VBAC. First of all, the weight scans during check ups are estimates…Everly was estimated to be 3.5kg’s at birth and was born at 3.085. Not many women (generally speaking) actually go into labor naturally before 40 weeks…many are induced (something that is not recommended for a VBAC as labor can progress very quickly once induction has taken place, and this places a greater stress on your scar tissue. For labor to progress by 1cm an hour is pretty much ideal textbook stuff, and not likely that most women’s bodies would follow this ideal. The age gap stated is to give your body and scar an adequate amount of time to heal, but some women heal faster than others, some scars heal better than others, and so this is a very hard guideline to follow. I have heard most midwives prefer an 18 month gap, and no less. But then again, there are always exceptions and I have read about amazing mommies who have had successful VBAC’s with a 11/12/13 month gap. My gap will be about 17.5 months if baby arrives at 40 weeks.

It was at my 28 week scan when my Gynae told me that although she does elective caesars at 38 weeks, she was willing to make an exception and allow me to go to 39 weeks for spontaneous labor. I was happy to compromise on this, and considering Everly arrived at 38 weeks (and apparently second time labor is likely to be early too) I felt confident that my labor would begin before then. If not, I agreed to set a date for my repeat caesar. I have just gotten back from my 33 week check up, and Doctor was very happy with how things are looking and has told me, that as long as everything is else is in order (ie no complications, baby is in the right position etc) she is happy to let me go to 40 weeks. I am delighted with the news! So, according to my original due date, I’ve got until the 22nd Feb to go into labor naturally. I will be doing ALL the things to try and ensure this happens, but as I mentioned above, I am far more at peace with a repeat ceasar that I was before and now will just have to wait and see what happens in the next 6 weeks.

I’ve got my wonderful Doula, Clare, at the ready (Clare was by my side through my entire labor with Everly and I know I would not have been able to make it as far as I did without her) and was one of the first people I told I was pregnant this second time, and told her to make sure she had a note in her diary for mid/end Feb! All that I can do now is wait, stay healthy, keep active (do my kegels, bounce on my Pilates ball) and be patient.

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If you’re still following along after the above very long VBAC related discussion, here are some more general thoughts and feelings on how the last 10 weeks of my second pregnancy have been. Click here to read my first post on how this second pregnancy has been.

My Body

Following on from the tummy comparison I shared above, here is a comparison of me at 33 weeks with Everly (on the right) and now with BabyBoy (pictured left).

I am also absolutely amazing at how different women gain weight in their pregnancies. I gained 18kg’s with Everly, and am already at the 18kg mark now with BabyBoy and I still have +-6 weeks to go. I was lucky in that I lost all (and then some) of my pregnancy weight within about 8 months (thanks to breastfeeding and following our regular low carb lifestyle). It’s still rather shocking when you think that baby only weighs, in my case, about +-3-3.5kgs…where does the rest of the weight come from!? I do like to remind my pregnant friends not to worry about their weight gain during or after pregnancy, because you just never know what your body is going to do, or how it will respond afterwards. Rather worry about getting back into shape once you and your baby have had a good chance to get to know each other. Don’t let it consume your thoughts, your body goes through an incredible transformation, and we need to be kinder to ourselves.

My skin started clearing up around the 6 month mark (thank goodness!) but I’ve still got cracked heels (apparantly this is from the weight gain). I’ve been lucky enough not to get any stretch marks again (holding thumbs it stays this way for the rest of my pregnancy) but have been religious with lathering BioOil on after each and every shower.

I am sleeping better, but it doesn’t help that I’m awake at 04:30 every morning when Farmboy goes to work, but I usually wake up that time to go to the loo. I have also had less round ligament pain this time, but I think that’s only because I now know to sleep with 4 pillows (one at my back, one at my tummy, one between my legs and one for my head!).

This boy is SOOOO active compared to Everly. I barely felt Everly kick, and every time she did it would be a wonderful little surprise. This guy hardly ever keeps still! He has hiccups none-stop, pushes and prods me with his legs/arms/bum and uses my poor organs as punching bags regularly. I’m hoping this is’t a sign of things to come, as Everly was the most contented baby & toddler, happy to sit around and play with her books and toys by herself for ages. I have a feeling this little guy is going to be a real busy body…who knows, maybe he will be walking before his sister haha #ImOnlyHalfJoking.

My Mind

Gosh, it’s still not real that a second little human is going to be joining our family soon. And to be very honest, I haven’t given it too much thought as my days revolve around Everly. We also moved house at the end of November (this was incredibly hectic!) and so most of the past 2 months have been spent sorting and organizing our home. Having said all of that, I am SLOWLY adjusting to the idea of being a boy mom (although I’m really struggling to come to grips with all the blue!) but I am excited and I just know Everly is going to adore her little play thing ahem, I mean brother.

Everly

Thanks to the advice of lots of friend and family, we bought Everly a little doll and gave it to her a little while ago. Oh my goodness if this hasn’t just been her absolute favourite thing in the whole world. She calls it her Baba (she has stopped referring to everything under the sun as ‘Baba’) and now the only Baba’s she talks about are her doll, and my tummy. She will often sporadically point at my tummy and say ‘baba’ and loves to lift my shirt up to see my tummy, after which she will give it a little cuddle (or rather a headbut sort of thing which is her version of a cuddle) and then carefully pull my top back down again. It’s the cutest thing!

Her little doll came with a magnetic dummy (genius!) and is just the right size for her. I found it at PicknPay after hours of looking around all the shops and feeling totally overwhelmed by the sheer variety of dolls. So many of them were really plasticky looking, and I wanted something simple…and small enough for her to carry herself. I have also been absolutely amazed by how she has started caring for her baby. She insists on wrapping her in a little blanket (I never showed her how to do this!) and will often share her milk with it, and puts the dummy in and cuddles it while giving it bum pats. I’m amazed at her natural mothering instinct.

Do you have any tips for introducing a young toddler (Everly will be about 17 months old when her brother arrives) to their new baby sibling? Friends have suggested getting her a special present that comes especially from her brother, which I love the idea of (any ideas of things that would make good presents for her?). I’d also love to hear any tips you may have for the actual first introduction, as I have no idea if there is a ‘best way’ to go about it.

Everly is still in her cot, but we plan on taking down the sides of it this week to convert it into a toddler bed, and are holding thumbs the transition won’t be too hard on her.

Ideally she will be sleeping in the single bed that’s in her room now by the time BabyBoy is here. But we aren’t going to rush that just yet, as he won’t need the cot for a good while still.

The Nursery

While BabyBoy is going to be using most of Everly’s nursery furniture (compactum, feeding chair, bassinet) there are a few things I’m changing, the first being the general ‘theme’ of his room. We are doing a constellation theme, and as I have really struggled to find beautiful decor items that match our theme so far, I’ve been in touch with the lovely ladies behind Riley & Fox Bespoke Nursery Linen and have had some custom linen items made just for him.

Here are some photos of how the nursery is looking so far, and of course Everly has had a ball ‘helping’ me get his room ready:

Still to be added:

• the family bassinet

• custom prints on the wall next to the compactum

• floating shelf of some kind in place of the bookshelf

• a nightlight (we used and still use a beautiful pink Rose Quartz lamp in Everly’s room) and I’m planning on getting a white salt lamp that will also give off a lovely soft glow

• and when he gets a little older, he will go into Everly’s cot (although I haven’t quite figured out where the cot will go in the room as right now there really isn’t any space. There’s still lots of time to worry about that though, and we might take the bed out when the time comes for him to go in the cot, and put the cot where the bed is now

What I AM sorted with though is all his cloth nappies! While I did try to buy mostly gender neutral nappies with Everly, I have gotten a little carried away with boy prints this time around and have a beautiful stash of both newborn and OSFM (One Size Fits Most) nappies for when he gets a bit older. I’ll share more on his nappies in another post soon.

I hope you enjoyed this update.

Thanks for following along! Feel free to ask me anything/leave a comment below, I love hearing from you.

x

6 months in with Pregnancy #2 and what has been different this time around

Today marks the 24th week (or 6 month mark) of my second pregnancy, and I thought I’d share a post on what has and hasn’t been different this time around.

The first, very obvious thing for my loyal blog readers, will be the fact that I documented my first pregnancy (click here to read those posts) quite a lot, sharing every month or so, what was going on with my body and how I was preparing. This time around my time is spent running after Everly, long gone are the days of lying in bed, watching series, and day dreaming of what life would be like when she arrived. Now it’s all hands on deck making sure she doesn’t get into too much trouble and she beetles around the house. Because of this, I have still tried hard to capture this pregnancy with photographs, and with my baby journal, as I would be heartbroken if he (yup! we are having a little boy) grows up and is feels left out of the whole memory capturing process. So although it takes a bit more effort to remind myself to photograph my growing belly, I am still making the time to do so.

My body

Well…the saying that your body is like a balloon after having a baby is 100% true. It blows up a whole lot faster the second time (as it has already stretched once before!) and I am MUCH bigger this time and my belly popped out a lot sooner that it did with Evs. This makes sense, I guess, but still leaves me feeling a bit nervous for what I’m going to look and feel like closer to the end.

Here’s a little size comparison between 22 weeks with Everly, and 22 weeks with #2:

My skin has also been a lot worse this time around, and this may have to do with the fact that I am carrying a boy this time around, but who really knows. Each pregnancy, just like each baby, is so unique, but I really only battled with a few pimples until about the 10 week mark with Everly, and this time my skin is only going back to normal now, 24 weeks in. It is also a different time of the year so there is that to consider too (I was mostly pregnant through Winter with Everly, and this little guy is due in Feb…so basically a peak Summer pregnancy…you’ll find me in the pool whaling around from here on out!).

I also seem to have picked up weight a lot faster too. I put on nearly 20kg’s with Everly (that’s a WHOLE lot of extra weight on my usual 52kg frame) and I’m already on the 12kg mark with another 3 or so months to go. It always boggled my mind that baby ends up weighing +-3kg’s so where does the other 17kg’s come from! Anyway, I was delighted to be back at my pre-baby weight within a few short months after Everly (mainly due to breastfeeding and following a semi low-carb high fat way of eating) and I’m hoping my body will do the same this time around.

What I am struggling with at the moment is picking up and carrying Everly around. She’s only 14 months old and not walking on her own yet….although considering she only started crawling at around the 12 month mark it might still be a while…and this means I need to pick her up and carry her everywhere. She weighs about 12kg’s, and my poor body is struggling with that and the baby bump to haul around. But, I guess it’s keeping me relatively fit so I should be thankful.

Photography by Dillon Kin Photography

My Mind

As this pregnancy was a bit of a surprise, it took a while to wrap my head around the fact that another little bundle would be joining our family. A lot of people I’ve spoken to have shared the same worries as I have, and have even gone so far as to say that didn’t bond much with their growing bump throughout the whole pregnancy. While I definitely felt like that in the beginning, as I’ve gotten bigger and felt him move and kick, I’ve definitely grown closer to him and am really starting to look forward to him being here. At the same time I’m still absolutely terrified with how I’m going to manage the 17 month age gap, but there ain’t no going back now and I guess no matter the age gap the adjustment is always a hard one in the beginning. I think Everly is going to LOVE having a sibling, and the nice thing about the small age gap is the fact that she probably won’t ever remember her life before her little brother. I hope this helps them grow closer together and that they don’t end up spending each second of the day fighting.

Image by Derryn Schmidt Photography

On that note, if you have any tips for adjusting to two-under-two please leave me a comment below. I would love to hear from other mommies who have/are navigating the same waters. I have been told that it’s super helpful to try and get them on the same schedule/routine as quickly as possible, so that they are both napping at the same time (that’s the idea anyway) and so that leaves mom with a bit of breathing space amongst the chaos. I also wonder how Everly will cope with me feeding her bother, and whether she’ll have any regressions on that front. She didn’t even bat an eyelid when I weaned her at just over a year, and she didn’t fuss for the boob at all. Hoping this means it won’t even phase her in the slightest, but who knows how they will react when the time comes.

Everly

A lot of friends and family have asked me whether Every is aware of what’s going on. I don’t think she really has any idea and although she uses the word Baba all the time, this has come to mean the dog, the chickens, the sky, my belly button and about a million other things. I think maybe closer to the time she might start to have more of an idea of what’s going on, but right now she’s very content playing with ALL her baba’s :)

What is going to also have to change very soon for her will be her bed. We haven’t quite decided what the next best thing is for her, but as her baby brother will be needing the cot relatively soon after he is here (although we do plan on using the family bassinet for the first couple of months) we will need to think carefully. I have been toying with the idea of turning her room into a Monessori style room, with a mattress on the floor. This is great in that we don’t need to worry about her falling out as she would just sort of roll onto the floor and I would put carpets underneath the bed. But this would mean she would be free to move/get out of bed when she wants to. I really like the idea of her having the freedom to get up when she wakes up and encourage her independence, but this could also have the opposite effect and mean she just won’t sleep because she can play with her toys whenever she wants to. So we will see what happen a little closer to the time and see how she manages in her cot once we’ve taken the sides down and converted it in the toddler bed it is designed to be.

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I hope you enjoyed this life update!

Thanks for following along.

x

Flying Solo with a Baby - How to stay sane when Traveling by Plane with a Little One

Everly and I have just landed after our 7th flight together. I’ve flown solo with her from Pietermaritzburg to Joburg 5 times (we flew together when she was 3 months, 6 months and now at 13 months), and she has also done an international flight to the UK at 7 months old…what a jet-setter! I think she should have her own card to be collecting air miles by now :)

I thought I’d write this post to offer some tips and advice for airplane travel with a little one, while everything is still fresh in my mind. I’m also currently 5 months pregnant, so the flight we have just done was a bit more difficult and took a bit more planning, but was still very manageable by myself. This post is more geared to shorter flights (all of the flights except for the one to UK were between 1 & 2 hours long).

I’ll also be doing a post on flying when pregnant (Farmboy and I went on ‘baby-moon’ to Italy in June last year when I was 6 months pregnant with Everly) and I have a whole load of tips for mommy’s-to-be when it comes to flying when pregnant…so tuned for that post to come soon.

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1. Use a baby carrier.

This has got to be my NUMBER 1 tip for flying with a baby. You are going to need both your hands when traveling for handing over your passports, holding your tickets, unpacking your hand-luggage when being scanned at security etc and the last thing you need to be worrying about is trying to do all of that with one.

We love our Ubuntu Baba carrier, and have used it since Everly was just a week old. Baby carriers are amazing for allowing Mum (or Dad) to get stuff done, they are world renown for their sleep induing properties, and most importantly, they allow baby to feel safe and secure at all times. I would not have been able to get through the plane airport travel without one. The Ubuntu Baba Carrier comes in two sizes (Stage 1 & Stage 2). Stage 1 is a front only carrier (so baby is carried on your front) and their Stage 2 carrier allows for both front and back carry. As I’m now well into my second pregnancy, I can no longer carry Ev on my front, but I have successfully been able to carry her on my back, while still feeling comfortable at 5 months pregnant.

Farmboy really likes the back carry position as he finds front carrying to be very hot and sweaty. I loved carrying Everly on my front when she was little, and now that she’s bigger (and heavier!) the back carry position is much more comfortable for all of us. The above photos will give you a pretty good idea of all the things you can do with your carrier…it’s just the best invention!

Although for bigger toddlers, prams are really great too as most airlines will allow you to wheel baby right to the airplane door, where they will then take the pram from you for the flight and bring it out again once you land.

2. A Backpack nappy/baby bag is life changing

This tip is more of a general mommy tip and something I am SO glad I used right from the very beginning. I just don’t know how moms handle the shoulder stress of carrying a heavy baby bag on one arm. Having a back pack means you once again have your ‘hands-free’ to pick up baby, open doors, carry things…the list of goes on! And if you have your baby on your front in a carrier, this means you can still have your hands free as all the baby paraphernalia goes on your back! It’s heavy, but well balanced (especially when they are small).

I ordered my nappy bag from a UK based company before they became all the rage and now you can buy this exact style through loads of online retailers here in South Africa. Click here to order yours through one of my favourite cloth nappy online stores, Biddykins. You can fit A LOT of things in this backback…here’s some proof:

When packing your nappy bag for a flight, try to be as ruthless as possible. You really don’t want to be fiddling with 10 different dummies and toys while you are desperately looking for the extra sock you thought you packed. Farmboy was so strict with me, and I’m so glad looking back. You also don’t want to be carrying everything and the kitchen sink, not just for the sake of your back (or shoulder if you have a traditional shoulder carry nappy bag) but for the sake of being able to find what you need QUICKLY. The last thing you need is a screaming baby while you wade through all 10 of Ben’s favourite stuffed toys to find his dummy.

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What to pack for a short plane ride with your baby (0 - about 6 months):

• 4 x nappies

• 2 x dummies (one clipped to baby and the other in an easy to reach pocket in your nappy bag)

• 1 x favourite toy

• 1 x receiving blanket (can be used to feed under/change baby in an emergency/mop up any spews/food/milk)

• wet wipes

• baby meds (Telement, Panado, Bum cream etc)

• 2 x Spare set of clothes (and socks as it can be colder on the plane)

• 2 x bibs…one on baby and one spare (if you’re like me and like to use different bibs for eating/drool then you might need more)

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3. Baggage tips - Carry only one bag on the plane

Your hands are already full dealing with a little baby/toddler, and so I highly recommend packing just one bag for use on the plane. Most airlines (at least here in South Africa on domestic flights) are very relaxed when it comes to what you can pack for baby, and allow bottles with milk/formula as well as snacks to be brought on board.

Having one bag to deal with when flying makes your life so much easier, and this is also why I can’t recommend a back up nappy bag enough. I’ve even been able to fit all of Everly’s things in there, as well my wallet and phone AND my big and bulky DSLR camera.

The photo above shows my luggage for the first few domestic flights I did with Evs…the backpack was my hand luggage/baby bag for on the plane, and the big hard case was the bag I checked in. I managed to fit all of my clothes and Everly’s as well as her cloth nappies for a weeks stay. What you take with you (ie. pram/camp cot etc) will also depend on where you are going and who you are going to be staying with. I’ve always flown and stayed with family who have had spare camp cots/prams etc or have borrowed from friends for my stay. Most of the time if you bring your cart seat with you, it will be checked in under the plane (make sure to get it wrapped to prevent any damage). Prams are allowed all the way to the airline door, where staff will then pack them up and put it away for you, and bring it out again once you land.

At the time of writing this blog post, here are the checked in baggage allowances for Mango & SAA:

• SAA: Infants are permitted 1 piece of checked baggage up to 23kg plus 1 collapsible pram or buggy and car seat, free of charge.

• Mango: Infants have a Baggage allowance of 10 kg’s. Parents may bring on board an approved child safety seat, similar to that used in a car, but this seat will form part of your on-board baggage allowance.

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4. Breastfeed/Bottle/Dummy on Take off and Landing to prevent sore ears

The first time we flew, I had the Panado at the ready, and even debated whether or not I should dose Everly before we had even boarded the plane. But once I realised the sore ears are caused by the altitude, and that if baby is sucking on something this stops their ears from popping, life gets a lot less stressful. As adults, we are able to pop our ears easily (and you probably even do it unconsciously) but little babies haven’t learned this skill yet and so need a little help.

If you’re breastfeeding your baby, life gets a whole lot easier, as you can simply pop then on the boob for take off and landing. Not only does this help them to ‘pop’ their ears, but it gives them a little extra comfort during what will probably be a bit of a stressful time. You can do the same with a bottle, and a dummy works just as well too. I have only just weaned Everly (I had planned to feed her till she self weaned) but being pregnant put a bit of a spanner in the works for us. On another note, you can definitely breastfeed while pregnant, it all just depends on you and how your body feels. I had no problems with my supply, it was more a case of things being so much more sensitive, and I decided I wanted to have a little break before becoming the resident dairy cow for our family (I made it to just under 13 months).

I breastfed Everly on all the flights up until this last one, when she just had her dummy. She had no problems with her ears.

If you are concerned that your baby’s ears might still be sore at some point, then to ease your mind just keep some Panado handy in your nappy bag.

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5. Pack more nappies and spare clothes for the plane than you think you will need

One our first flight together, Everly went through about 4 more nappies than I had planned. I also chose to use disposable nappies for the flight to make my life a little easier, but have since then just carried on using cloth nappies (click here if you’d like to find out more about cloth nappies).

Being a first time mom, first time flying and really having very little idea of what to expect, I wish I had packed at least 2 sets of extra vests and leggings, as the two nappies I had to deal with on the plane wrecked havoc with her clothes! I’ll spare you the details, but let’s just say it wasn’t just her onesie that had lots of suspect green 'stains’ but my clothing too.

Also bare in mind just how teeny tiny the airplane bathroom changing tables are! Here is a photo of Everly at 3 months, only just fitting.

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6. Snacks for Older babies

Snacks are a GREAT distraction and source of entertainment for little ones. I only really needed to worry about this on this last flight, as before Everly was small enough to not be needing solids on the plane journey as I was still breastfeeding her. This time around, she was just over a year, and as my child eats me out of house and home, I knew I needed to be REALLY prepared food wise.

What snacks you pack will depend on what your little one eats and what sort of food you feed them. Everly is a Banting baby (no sugar or processed carbs…just real food) so my life is made a little harder when it comes to snacks as she doesn’t get biscuits or crackers etc. I also try not to feed her too many of those pouch meals (you never know exactly what’s in them) but I did have a Woolies pouch packed in there for emergencies. She LOVES those pouches though, and it’s what she ate a lot of when we were un the UK and traveling a lot. So they definitely have their place and are a good distraction for many babies. I have a set of re-useable pouches from PouchLove which are awesome when traveling. I filled one with frozen yoghurt (literally put yoghurt in it and popped it in the freezer over night) and filled the other with a spinach, apple & raisin puree which Everly loves. Handy to give to busy little hands.

The BEST snack (although a little on the messy side) turned out to be rice cakes! Everly pulled each and every grain of rice apart and played with it for a good 15 - 20 minutes. Oh, and also sun-dried tomatoes and drywors/biltong are good, relatively non-messy, sugar free snack ideas too.

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If all else fails and your little one does have a melt down, just remember to take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that it will all be over soon.

I’m certain that your baby/toddler one will undoubtedly surprise you, and it all will all be over before you know it. On that note, make sure to snap a few photos to document the trip. This will either make wonderful memories, or remind you never to take them on a plane again ;)